The New Terraplane

From the Attic

All the content that doesn't fit

Autumn 2002

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Vietnam: Facts and Figures

NOTES ON THE 20th CENTURY: Historical essays

FREE PAGE: Links to free coupons, games, software, and information

India Notebook, by Inder Dan Ratnu

THE LIBERTY LIST: Bill of Rights links, discussion, news

MIKE'S MALL: Books, clothing, electronics, music, and more


More from the Attic:

No. 1: Baseball Expansion; Strange Moments in Baseball

No 2: One From the Attic -- Henry Burns on Falwell & Teletubbies

No. 3:  Epistle From a Disgruntled Fan; Strange Moments in Baseball 2

No. 4:  Black and Mulatto Population of Lee County, Virginia, 1920

(Unintentional) Church Sign Humor

I got the idea for this page one day while returning home from jury duty in Marietta, SC, when I saw a sign on a local church that read, verbatim:

If we called our selfs

Christian then why don't we 

act like one

I decided then & there to collect the funniest and most bizarre of the numerous church marquee signs in upstate South Carolina.  The results are as follows.  Unfortunately, I saw a good number of suitably weird messages that I was unable to photograph, from the frightening ("The most precious freedom is freedom from sin") to the reassuringly sensible (the sign outside a black church in Piedmont, SC that read "God wants fruits of the spirit, not religious nuts").

This page is not intended to disparage or poke fun at any individual church, religion, or person. It is, however, intended to derive amusement from the lack of imagination, moderation, clarity, and sensibility often reflected on church marquees.

This church offers a uniquely southern answer to an age-old philosophical question...

while this one promises a solution to a more practical problem.

A pithy commentary on the value of education...

and a demonstration of just why education is valuable (Little, Brown Handbook, anyone?)

Of course, spiritual affairs always take precedence over money...

and politics.

But then, who needs a stinking economy, anyway (anybody seen that Little, Brown Handbook)?

And speaking of morality ...


what sort of grievous sin have they committed now? You should see what they say about those wicked Meals on Wheels people.  The heathen!

Copyright 2002 Michael H. Burchett.  All rights reserved.